Are you a new mom? Things I learned from my on-the-job training.

So here it is. One phrase. The one distilled nugget of wisdom to come from my 19+ years (does time ever fly by...) of motherhood is this:

Don’t be smug.

That’s it.

Don’t be smug.

It’s simple, it’s true and it applies to almost every part of my experience thus far. So, in no particular order, here are some of the things that have kicked the smug clean out of me.

Resist the temptation to entertain people in the first few weeks/months. The adrenaline you are running on runs out eventually. Save your strength. Expect to be served tea rather than doing the serving. And don’t be ashamed to send people away if they show up at your door without a piping hot casserole or a Swiffer.

In my humble opinion, the most annoying mother out there is the one who assumes your experience will be identical to hers.

“You’ll never ever have time to exercise with a new baby."

"Forget about having sex again."

“Time to bathe? Dream on.”

Avoid these people and never ever become one.

Ditch the pregnancy books. Try spending your pre-baby time reading about what happens after the baby comes, especially the incredibly hard thing that is supposed to come “naturally” like breastfeeding, soothing a crying newborn or teaching your child good sleep habits right from the get-go.

Remember that as soon as you’ve hit your stride, your child does an about-face on every pattern they have established thus far.

The phrase blood sweat and tears are synonymous with hard work. I’d add breast milk to that list. If breastfeeding is proving difficult or painful, accept all the help you can get from a lactation consultant or breastfeeding clinic.

Formula is not poison. There is much more to parenthood than breastfeeding. It’s important to keep the big picture in mind.

Your partner may be doing things differently, so let them. I learned it doesn’t have to be my way to be the right way.

Here is the best parental advice I listened to early on: babies shouldn’t be up for more than 1 hour at a time. If they are, they get overtired, which makes it harder for them to fall asleep. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D., provides lots of tips.

At some point, all parents find themselves in the dreaded “Should I let my baby cry it out?” scenario. Whatever your position is now, try to reserve judgment. Everyone’s got their own take on those methods, and you never know how you’ll feel after months of patchy nonexistent sleep.

Amid all the awesomeness that motherhood brings are moments when you feel you honestly can’t go on. If you ever feel depressed or unable to cope, please talk to someone. It happens to the best of us.

When dirty laundry is spread all over the floor, your legs need shaving and your whole house needs sanitizing in the worst way, try to remember this: all you have to do today is be this baby’s mom. That’s it. Forget the other stuff.

Because that job – being a mom – is quite enough.